Neil Gaiman

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes
you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up
your heart and it means that someone can get inside
you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses,
you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing
can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different
from any other stupid person, wanders into your
stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't
ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss
you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own
anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats
you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so
simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends'
turns into a glass splinter working its way into your
heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in
the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-
rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

eaten today:

1: bite of salad
1: cookie
1: cup of coffee
4: french fries


this is problematic.

It has officially been almost 24 hours.
I am trying.
Desperately trying.
But...

I am willing for my phone to buzz and have you say that you've been thinking of me all day.
Willing to walk downstairs and have you waiting.
Willing to look out my window and see you standing there with a boombox.

I'm cheesy, yes.
I like movie kisses and bad love songs that make me think about you.

I don't want to die young when I'm with you.
All I want to do is be with you.
And I can't.
And it's breaking me.

I'm so wracked with guilt that I've thrown up periodically all day.
I feel so alone.

I'd rip my heart out of my chest with my bare hands
if I knew it would make me stop feeling like this.
I don't want to be Carrie anymore.
Hospitals, broken teeth, trying to chase down an apology.
All I want is to sleep, perchance to dream
of something other than you for the first time in weeks.

Not even forty eight hours and I'm going crazy.

We should stop flaunting it.
I miss you.
I'm infatuated with you.
I've never fallen so fast.
This is just comfortable.

Hey hey, you you, I don't like your girlfriend.
Hey hey, you you, I think you need a new one.