Half Baked.

Just talked to him. Felt the need to write down the remnants of the memories that we once shared.

She was the type that sprayed perfume on her neck every night before bed, even if there was no man there to enjoy it. He was the kind who listened to classical Indian music at night to have dreams of Gandhi and the stringed instrument that he couldn’t remember the name of. They met on a plane to San Francisco, and the “relationship,” for lack of a better word, was marred with awkward moments and pregnant pauses from the start. He thought that she looked at him with disdain, when really all she could think of was that he was so tall that he would hit the ceiling when he stood up. But he was beautiful, and she was hoping that they were headed toward the same ultimate destination.

When they realized that they were, the couple exchanged names and small talk, then boarded a bus separately. Once they departed their second mode of shared transportation, they exchanged phone numbers just in case they never saw each other again. He once remarked that her smile was different than one he had ever seen, a smile that she would flash not only during the lapses in conversations but also before their first kiss, and looking down at him from the escalator after their final farewell.

He sat by her in her first lecture. They texted each other every night, and although they were not in the same group of students, they tried to spend as much time together as possible. When she remarked to another boy that she already had plans to spend the professional baseball game with a guy, the short, athletic redhead was hurt. He had wasted invaluable flirting time with a girl that already had her heart wrapped around the six foot four Turkish soccer player. How could she not? She tried to resist the temptation...with the risk of sounding like a bad vampire series, everything about him invited her in. He had a smokey quality to his voice, his eyes were the same color that she had always dreamed about and his smell was one that she would try to replicate, she realized, over time.

At the sporting event, they bundled together in the seats of their peers, thinking of any excuse to go and have a little alone time. Eventually they left, supposedly in the search of food or another obviously made up excuse, and watched the sailboats go by in the San Francisco harbor.
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
“Then why don’t you?”
They had only known each other for ten days. She went further with him than she had ever gone before, and supposedly the physicality was mutual. He once remarked that he wasn’t going to be her boyfriend. That one cut her to the bone. She obviously realized that a thousand mile stretch of highway and a two and a half hour plane ride was a long time for the heart to stay faithful, but she was willing to try. She couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t. She walked back to her room in tears, with him trying to chase after her. She passed the common room full of smiling faces and romances that would never register has hers had. She ran up to her room, a two room dorm that was nicer than the one that she would eventually experience in her own college, and texted her roommate to come up and console her. He wasn’t going to be her boyfriend. She already knew that they could sit together and just talk for hours and hours, and she didn’t know why. He aided in her breaking almost all of the rules of this leadership summit.

When she finally told him that there was someone else, he told her that she could have her fucking romantic bullshit, and he didn’t need it. She called him to calm him down. Three years later, most of those abilities would be lost to her, but maybe with the invention of Skype she could regain them.
Abraham Lincoln.
The game.
Lipgloss.
Awkward moments diaries.
She can’t remember why, but for some reason he was glad he didn’t ride the bus.
He still owes her a song.
I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you.

Dejalo Nuestra Cosa

I got a mind if you wanna waste it
I got a man if you wanna fake it
I got some wine if you wanna get wasted
I got a place if you wanna...
ready to go.

I got a tail if you wanna chase it
I got a tongue if you wanna taste it
I got a place on the east side
I got some time if you wanna...
ready to go. just say so.

She sleeps on your right side
She gets nailed, I get tired.
I sleep on your left side
100 ways to keep love alive.

We need sunlight
First of all, we need some light.

Get Out and Stay Out

Those lyrics are no longer prevalent.
These are better.

Get out and stay out, I've finally had enough
Don't kiss me on your way out, it wouldn't move me much
You used me, abused me, you cheated and you lied
So get out and stay out, I'm taking back my life
My life

Confusion.

My relationships are beginning to get upstaged by theatre.
The give and take is there, and while my performance is getting better everyday, I feel alone.
Centerstage in a spotlight isn't home anymore.
Now it's isolating. No wonder they call it an isolated spot.
I'm mugging to the cameras of my friends while I create a backstory for my own character.
I spend every night in tears. Doubting this will end soon.
We'll see.
Relationships are killing me. Yours, mine, ours. I'm dying. And this time I'm being completely honest.
Oh, and I don't drink.








Last straw. 100% heartbroken. I'm finished.

He was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. And he wanted me.
He lived 100 feet away, though I had only known him for a few minutes. Or was it my whole life?
"Oh, you finally chose each other!"
No one is that blunt or correct in real life.
Then, in a flash, my love life is like Sex & The City. Stills of me flip to screen shots of him, punctuated by two second video clips and the "i"s are dotted with half second audio.
We couldn't find a parking space. That didn't matter. He had called me beautiful. I thought him gorgeous.
We were suntanned lovers that had a glow rivaling the sunset over the Pacific.
Wow. That was cheesy. I almost refused to wake up from this dream. Damn train.
Though he shared a name, you two look nothing alike. Maybe it's a prophesy.
My yearly horoscope did say something wonderful would happen to me in June.

Ongoing.

Eli couldn’t help but think that he was a dumb ass for leaving her. Sure, it was 20 years ago. Sure, she actually dumped him for a professional Tango dancer, but all he could think of was that he did not have her. Lilly currently resided in a penthouse in Chicago, overlooking the back-room dealings of Chinatown. She worked in the most eco-friendly skyscraper in town as a CEO, helping to make the world a Greener place. Her big break, and subsequent millions, came from the invention of the Floppy WaterBottle, ten times easier to store and transport than the traditional plastic option, complete with it’s own miniature carabiner. Eli, however, was making $12 an hour as a sanitation worker. While Lilly watched over thousands of workers everyday, making sure that they did their jobs completely to her specifications, Eli watched over thousands of flies, making a mockery of his life and his dreams.

your turn.