Confusion.

My relationships are beginning to get upstaged by theatre.
The give and take is there, and while my performance is getting better everyday, I feel alone.
Centerstage in a spotlight isn't home anymore.
Now it's isolating. No wonder they call it an isolated spot.
I'm mugging to the cameras of my friends while I create a backstory for my own character.
I spend every night in tears. Doubting this will end soon.
We'll see.
Relationships are killing me. Yours, mine, ours. I'm dying. And this time I'm being completely honest.
Oh, and I don't drink.








Last straw. 100% heartbroken. I'm finished.

He was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. And he wanted me.
He lived 100 feet away, though I had only known him for a few minutes. Or was it my whole life?
"Oh, you finally chose each other!"
No one is that blunt or correct in real life.
Then, in a flash, my love life is like Sex & The City. Stills of me flip to screen shots of him, punctuated by two second video clips and the "i"s are dotted with half second audio.
We couldn't find a parking space. That didn't matter. He had called me beautiful. I thought him gorgeous.
We were suntanned lovers that had a glow rivaling the sunset over the Pacific.
Wow. That was cheesy. I almost refused to wake up from this dream. Damn train.
Though he shared a name, you two look nothing alike. Maybe it's a prophesy.
My yearly horoscope did say something wonderful would happen to me in June.

Ongoing.

Eli couldn’t help but think that he was a dumb ass for leaving her. Sure, it was 20 years ago. Sure, she actually dumped him for a professional Tango dancer, but all he could think of was that he did not have her. Lilly currently resided in a penthouse in Chicago, overlooking the back-room dealings of Chinatown. She worked in the most eco-friendly skyscraper in town as a CEO, helping to make the world a Greener place. Her big break, and subsequent millions, came from the invention of the Floppy WaterBottle, ten times easier to store and transport than the traditional plastic option, complete with it’s own miniature carabiner. Eli, however, was making $12 an hour as a sanitation worker. While Lilly watched over thousands of workers everyday, making sure that they did their jobs completely to her specifications, Eli watched over thousands of flies, making a mockery of his life and his dreams.

your turn.

There were so many deleted scenes, backspaced keystrokes and wayward glances that I'd need an army to count them on my hands.

Jamie has new dreams he's building upon

We made cookies.
We decorated a tree.
Getting a taste of what the rest of my life could actually be like...
is terrifying.
When the Christmas magic wears off, what will go with it?
I wonder if we're all settling.







Jamie is sure something wonderful died.
Jamie decides it's his right to decide.
Jamie's got secrets he doesn't confide.
And I'm still hurting.

idea.

I'm about 98% sure that you read this, so let me know.

you write a paragraph, I write a paragraph.
could turn out a masterpiece, could turn out crap.
mostly psychological, though.

you in?

I'm the only one who hasn't changed.
Maybe not being seen for half a year is the reason.
He loves my friends.
He wants to meet my parents.


He wants me, he wants me.
But he ain't gonna get me.
Look at me
Look at him
Son of a bitch,
I guess I'm doing something right.