"And a prolonged period of time would include the next 15 minutes. You're better than that. You're something to desire. Hes just a cute boy. You won't be the last girl this happens to. But you'll be the first to not care."

I'm going to miss these people.

Come on, baby, let me see what you hiding underneath.

December brings feelings. I tried to ignore them. They got worse.

Fight.
Love.
Out.
Wind.

Flowing like the river in Pocahontas, never stepping into the same arena twice,
I sauntered into a new year.
A new person.
A new affirmation.
A new soundtrack.

Termination.
Seasonal.
Forever.

You'd make a beautiful Snow White, princess.
Too bad they'll never see it.

Smart, Funny and a tad bit awkward.

Affirmations.

"Have you ever auditioned for face? Because you look JUST like Snow White."

"You know who you look like, right? Miss Germany?"

"I know I don't know you or anything, but you know you could be Wendy, right?"

"No, you couldn't be Snow White. But you could be Cinderella, WENDY, Alice, and oh, you have a Tinker face."

"You have a total fairy face. Tinkerbell, Vidia...Why didn't you go to the Vidia audition, dumbass?"

and my favorite,

"I'm not a lesbian or anything, and all of you ladies are lovely here, but THAT girl is stunningly pretty."

I'm bracing myself for impact because I know that one wrong move, one stupid decision, one poor choice will cause everything I've worked so hard to build to come tumbling down around me.

I shouldn't let myself be in this position.

I'm never this vulnerable.

I'm woven gold in a world of thread.

I'm a princess in a needle stack.

a dream I can't remember.

we ran through the sewers, trying to get away from something.

something horrible, something so rancid in body and soul that even in my dreams I couldn't get away from it.

sound familiar?

but then you left me on my own, to fend off this demon by myself.

and I did.

then you were there.

and everything bad seemed to go away.

we rolled around on the wood flooring, our embrace tight,

our witty dialogue tighter.

then you left again.

I realize that this mimics real life. Only having you for ten days, then only for three hours.

maybe someday I'll have you for a month, a year, a lifetime.

but maybe I'll fight my demons on my own and I won't need you anymore, and in my dreams I can be my own superhero and my own crutch.

I'm learning, slowly but surely, that my relationships don't have to be like those of a drunkard and a light post. I don't have to use people for support rather than illumination.

we need sunlight.

let the sunshine in.

sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.