I had a dream that I was making a skirt out of gold lace.
I was so ready to cut it, to finally make it mine.
I went to grab my scissors, and my fabric was gone.
I asked around everywhere, asking everyone I saw if they had seen my gold lace.
No one knew where it went.
I had to settle for pink fringe in the end.
I just wanted the gold lace, damn it.
Don't make me take the pink fringe.
Maybe everything will be better now that our inevitable "trouble month" is over.
Or maybe it won't.
Never planned that one day I'd be losing you.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sometimes I think about my wedding day.
You're the groom.
You're crying as I walk down the aisle.
We're in Chicago, in a park where I made a Freudian slip
that defined us for so long.
I always wonder if your tears are of joy or sorrow.
Sometimes I think about my wedding day.
I'm the bride.
You're crying as I walk down the aisle.
We're in New York, a place of both of our dreams
and limited opportunity.
I always wonder if you notice that the groom was crying too.
You're the groom.
You're crying as I walk down the aisle.
We're in Chicago, in a park where I made a Freudian slip
that defined us for so long.
I always wonder if your tears are of joy or sorrow.
Sometimes I think about my wedding day.
I'm the bride.
You're crying as I walk down the aisle.
We're in New York, a place of both of our dreams
and limited opportunity.
I always wonder if you notice that the groom was crying too.
Monday, November 28, 2011
FUCK.
If he’s not calling you.
If he’s not texting you.
If he’s looking for other girls to date.
If he’s not taking you out on dates.
If he’s not asking you to be is girlfriend.
Then it’s because he doesn’t want to.
Even if he’s kissing you.
Even if he’s letting you sleep in his bed with him.
Even if he’s cuddling you at night.
Even if he gets jealous when you talk about other guys.
If he wanted to be with you, then he would be. But he’s not.
And he’s a fool.
"Fools aren't born, Pongo. Pretty girls make them in their spare time."
If he’s not texting you.
If he’s looking for other girls to date.
If he’s not taking you out on dates.
If he’s not asking you to be is girlfriend.
Then it’s because he doesn’t want to.
Even if he’s kissing you.
Even if he’s letting you sleep in his bed with him.
Even if he’s cuddling you at night.
Even if he gets jealous when you talk about other guys.
If he wanted to be with you, then he would be. But he’s not.
And he’s a fool.
"Fools aren't born, Pongo. Pretty girls make them in their spare time."
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Tricked ya.
The scars of your kisses
cover me
haunting me with memories
of the beautiful boy who
once laid beside me
once, twice, again
maybe January, maybe
2012.
Maybe in the garden where
we chased the rabbit but
landed back in the real
world instead of Wonderland.
I am mind numbingly beautiful.
You are nothing short of my
soulmate, but too immature
and scared to see it.
So you'll fall back down the
rabbit hole & I'll stay here.
I'm New York - busy, tired & grand.
You're Chicago - sprawling, physical
& fashion.
We both live in our own metropolis
and both claim to have the best pizza.
cover me
haunting me with memories
of the beautiful boy who
once laid beside me
once, twice, again
maybe January, maybe
2012.
Maybe in the garden where
we chased the rabbit but
landed back in the real
world instead of Wonderland.
I am mind numbingly beautiful.
You are nothing short of my
soulmate, but too immature
and scared to see it.
So you'll fall back down the
rabbit hole & I'll stay here.
I'm New York - busy, tired & grand.
You're Chicago - sprawling, physical
& fashion.
We both live in our own metropolis
and both claim to have the best pizza.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
I’m so fucking pretentious.
carrying around my Whole Foods groceries and $200 purse.
Wearing my shirt from a Broadway show and holding my $1000 laptop.
I’m only shaken by the fact that there’s spray paint on my nails and shoes that cost as much as my haircut.
And the fact that the ambulance that drove by could have been the same one that brought me to the hospital when those guys busted my face in.
Why the hell does anyone deal with me?
carrying around my Whole Foods groceries and $200 purse.
Wearing my shirt from a Broadway show and holding my $1000 laptop.
I’m only shaken by the fact that there’s spray paint on my nails and shoes that cost as much as my haircut.
And the fact that the ambulance that drove by could have been the same one that brought me to the hospital when those guys busted my face in.
Why the hell does anyone deal with me?
Monday, October 24, 2011
Manizer.
"Am I still the most interesting person you've met here?"
"So far, yeah."
"Cool. Let me know if it changes."
"I doubt it will anytime soon :)"
"I do too."
"So far, yeah."
"Cool. Let me know if it changes."
"I doubt it will anytime soon :)"
"I do too."
Monday, September 26, 2011
Snow White/Aurora.
Belle
[x] You’ve kissed someone your friends didn’t like.
[] You’ve been lost in the forest.
[x] You love to read.
[] You are not shy at all.
[] One of your family members is a bit weird.
[x] You have done volunteer work.
[x] You have a wild imagination.
[x] You love to take care of people in need.
[x] You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty.
[x] You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out.
Total: 7
Rapunzel
[] You’re an orphaned child or have an evil step-mother.
[x] You have many different hobbies to keep you busy.
[x] You can get really bored.
[] You have very long hair.
[] Your hair is/was bright blonde.
[x] You’re an artsy person.
[x] You’re childish.
[x] You can’t wait to stop the same routine each day and start living.
[x] You care about others and their feelings.
[] You like to follow the rules.
Total: 6
Alice
[] You have/had a pet rabbit.
[x] You love to play cards.
[x] You constantly know the time.
[x] You get yourself in sticky situations.
[] You have been to a court.
[] You have fallen asleep while doing your homework.
[x] You have had a tea party.
[x] You like hats.
[] You’re late.
[] You know how to play croquet.
Total: 5
Jasmine
[] Your dad is rich.
[x] You are very clever.
[x] You’ve been with someone way different from you.
[x] You’re unique and different from everyone else.
[x] You’d never marry someone just because they were rich.
[x] You have set a lot of goals for yourself.
[] You don’t have a lot of (good) friends.
[x] You’re independent.
[] You are wealthy.
[] Your parents try to control your life.
Total: 6
Megara
[] Your boyfriend/crush is strong.
[x] You have gotten involved with the wrong people before.
[x] You are very convincing.
[x] You have fallen in love before.
[x] You have had your heart broken.
[x] You find an interest in Greek mythology.
[x] You lie sometimes.
[] You pretend to be someone you’re not.
[x] You have been used.
[] Purple is one of your favorite colors.
Total: 7
Ariel
[x] Your parents expect a lot from you.
[x] You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you.
[x] You’re a bit of a trouble maker.
[] You’re the youngest in your family.
[] You have a lot of sisters.
[] You collect something.
[x] You have/had long hair.
[x] You are adventurous.
[x] You’re extremely curious.
[] You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible.
Total: 6
Aurora
[x] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents.
[x] You almost died at a very young age.
[x] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful.
[x] You have a decent singing voice.
[x] You like to sleep in late on the weekend.
[] You spend most of your time outside.
[] You’re adopted.
[x] You’re very romantic.
[x] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Total: 8
Cinderella
[] One of your parents is dead.
[] You are expected to do a lot of chores.
[x] You love to dress up.
[x] You love animals.
[] You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming.
[] Your mom is really strict.
[] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you.
[] You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes.
[x] You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before.
[x] You have/had blonde hair.
Total: 4
Snow White
[x] You know that you’re beautiful.
[x] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you.
[x] You’ve almost been killed.
[x] You have at least seven good friends.
[] You’ve had food poisoning.
[x] You have/had short hair.
[x] You get along with almost everyone.
[x] All of your friends are different.
[x] You love to have a good time.
[] You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in.
Total: 8
Tinkerbell
[x] You get jealous easily.
[x] You loved your childhood.
[x] You like to fly.
[x] You believe in magic.
[] You’re 5’2” or under.
[] You hate pirates.
[] You love sparkles.
[x] People underestimate you.
[x] You get angry easily.
[] You have/had a treehouse.
Total: 6
Pocahontas
[x] You love to walk around and explore big cities.
[x] You are more spiritual than religious.
[] You’ve been in an interracial relationship.
[] One of your family members is dead.
[x] Your parents are very protective of you.
[x] Someone you know has been in the war.
[x] You love nature.
[] You have/had black hair.
[] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful.
[x] You’re very adventurous.
Total: 6
Mulan
[] You can be a tomboy sometimes.
[] People wish you could be a bit more girly.
[] You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not.
[] You’ve had a physical fight with someone.
[x] You have/had considered running away from home.
[] Your parents try to plan your life out.
[x] A lot of your friends are boys.
[x] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations.
[x] You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them
Total: 4
[x] You’ve kissed someone your friends didn’t like.
[] You’ve been lost in the forest.
[x] You love to read.
[] You are not shy at all.
[] One of your family members is a bit weird.
[x] You have done volunteer work.
[x] You have a wild imagination.
[x] You love to take care of people in need.
[x] You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty.
[x] You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out.
Total: 7
Rapunzel
[] You’re an orphaned child or have an evil step-mother.
[x] You have many different hobbies to keep you busy.
[x] You can get really bored.
[] You have very long hair.
[] Your hair is/was bright blonde.
[x] You’re an artsy person.
[x] You’re childish.
[x] You can’t wait to stop the same routine each day and start living.
[x] You care about others and their feelings.
[] You like to follow the rules.
Total: 6
Alice
[] You have/had a pet rabbit.
[x] You love to play cards.
[x] You constantly know the time.
[x] You get yourself in sticky situations.
[] You have been to a court.
[] You have fallen asleep while doing your homework.
[x] You have had a tea party.
[x] You like hats.
[] You’re late.
[] You know how to play croquet.
Total: 5
Jasmine
[] Your dad is rich.
[x] You are very clever.
[x] You’ve been with someone way different from you.
[x] You’re unique and different from everyone else.
[x] You’d never marry someone just because they were rich.
[x] You have set a lot of goals for yourself.
[] You don’t have a lot of (good) friends.
[x] You’re independent.
[] You are wealthy.
[] Your parents try to control your life.
Total: 6
Megara
[] Your boyfriend/crush is strong.
[x] You have gotten involved with the wrong people before.
[x] You are very convincing.
[x] You have fallen in love before.
[x] You have had your heart broken.
[x] You find an interest in Greek mythology.
[x] You lie sometimes.
[] You pretend to be someone you’re not.
[x] You have been used.
[] Purple is one of your favorite colors.
Total: 7
Ariel
[x] Your parents expect a lot from you.
[x] You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you.
[x] You’re a bit of a trouble maker.
[] You’re the youngest in your family.
[] You have a lot of sisters.
[] You collect something.
[x] You have/had long hair.
[x] You are adventurous.
[x] You’re extremely curious.
[] You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible.
Total: 6
Aurora
[x] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents.
[x] You almost died at a very young age.
[x] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful.
[x] You have a decent singing voice.
[x] You like to sleep in late on the weekend.
[] You spend most of your time outside.
[] You’re adopted.
[x] You’re very romantic.
[x] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
Total: 8
Cinderella
[] One of your parents is dead.
[] You are expected to do a lot of chores.
[x] You love to dress up.
[x] You love animals.
[] You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming.
[] Your mom is really strict.
[] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you.
[] You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes.
[x] You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before.
[x] You have/had blonde hair.
Total: 4
Snow White
[x] You know that you’re beautiful.
[x] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you.
[x] You’ve almost been killed.
[x] You have at least seven good friends.
[] You’ve had food poisoning.
[x] You have/had short hair.
[x] You get along with almost everyone.
[x] All of your friends are different.
[x] You love to have a good time.
[] You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in.
Total: 8
Tinkerbell
[x] You get jealous easily.
[x] You loved your childhood.
[x] You like to fly.
[x] You believe in magic.
[] You’re 5’2” or under.
[] You hate pirates.
[] You love sparkles.
[x] People underestimate you.
[x] You get angry easily.
[] You have/had a treehouse.
Total: 6
Pocahontas
[x] You love to walk around and explore big cities.
[x] You are more spiritual than religious.
[] You’ve been in an interracial relationship.
[] One of your family members is dead.
[x] Your parents are very protective of you.
[x] Someone you know has been in the war.
[x] You love nature.
[] You have/had black hair.
[] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful.
[x] You’re very adventurous.
Total: 6
Mulan
[] You can be a tomboy sometimes.
[] People wish you could be a bit more girly.
[] You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not.
[] You’ve had a physical fight with someone.
[x] You have/had considered running away from home.
[] Your parents try to plan your life out.
[x] A lot of your friends are boys.
[x] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations.
[x] You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them
Total: 4
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Now.
We ran to holy ground
we ran away from demons
we ran 'til we're the only ones around
we climbed up the walls
we broke into the tunnels
it was right then I knew I had started to fall
well now I've tried
now I've waited
now I've becoming that goddamn girl
I just wanna hear you say again
"you're my world"
you were falling for me
but she's still in the picture
you were falling to your knees
well now you've locked me out
well now I'll cry my eyes red
second place can't be what life is all about.
we ran away from demons
we ran 'til we're the only ones around
we climbed up the walls
we broke into the tunnels
it was right then I knew I had started to fall
well now I've tried
now I've waited
now I've becoming that goddamn girl
I just wanna hear you say again
"you're my world"
you were falling for me
but she's still in the picture
you were falling to your knees
well now you've locked me out
well now I'll cry my eyes red
second place can't be what life is all about.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Neil Gaiman
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes
you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up
your heart and it means that someone can get inside
you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses,
you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing
can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different
from any other stupid person, wanders into your
stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't
ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss
you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own
anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats
you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so
simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends'
turns into a glass splinter working its way into your
heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in
the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-
rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up
your heart and it means that someone can get inside
you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses,
you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing
can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different
from any other stupid person, wanders into your
stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't
ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss
you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own
anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats
you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so
simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends'
turns into a glass splinter working its way into your
heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in
the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-
rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
It has officially been almost 24 hours.
I am trying.
Desperately trying.
But...
I am willing for my phone to buzz and have you say that you've been thinking of me all day.
Willing to walk downstairs and have you waiting.
Willing to look out my window and see you standing there with a boombox.
I'm cheesy, yes.
I like movie kisses and bad love songs that make me think about you.
I don't want to die young when I'm with you.
All I want to do is be with you.
And I can't.
And it's breaking me.
I'm so wracked with guilt that I've thrown up periodically all day.
I feel so alone.
I am trying.
Desperately trying.
But...
I am willing for my phone to buzz and have you say that you've been thinking of me all day.
Willing to walk downstairs and have you waiting.
Willing to look out my window and see you standing there with a boombox.
I'm cheesy, yes.
I like movie kisses and bad love songs that make me think about you.
I don't want to die young when I'm with you.
All I want to do is be with you.
And I can't.
And it's breaking me.
I'm so wracked with guilt that I've thrown up periodically all day.
I feel so alone.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I'd rip my heart out of my chest with my bare hands
if I knew it would make me stop feeling like this.
I don't want to be Carrie anymore.
Hospitals, broken teeth, trying to chase down an apology.
All I want is to sleep, perchance to dream
of something other than you for the first time in weeks.
Not even forty eight hours and I'm going crazy.
We should stop flaunting it.
I miss you.
I'm infatuated with you.
I've never fallen so fast.
This is just comfortable.
Hey hey, you you, I don't like your girlfriend.
Hey hey, you you, I think you need a new one.
if I knew it would make me stop feeling like this.
I don't want to be Carrie anymore.
Hospitals, broken teeth, trying to chase down an apology.
All I want is to sleep, perchance to dream
of something other than you for the first time in weeks.
Not even forty eight hours and I'm going crazy.
We should stop flaunting it.
I miss you.
I'm infatuated with you.
I've never fallen so fast.
This is just comfortable.
Hey hey, you you, I don't like your girlfriend.
Hey hey, you you, I think you need a new one.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
this can be punctuated two ways.
Dear John
I want a man who knows what love is all about you are generous kind thoughtful people who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior you have ruined me for other men I yearn for you I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart I can be forever happy will you let me be yours
Gloria
I want a man who knows what love is all about you are generous kind thoughtful people who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior you have ruined me for other men I yearn for you I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart I can be forever happy will you let me be yours
Gloria
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl walking away from the World of Tomorrow,
dressed in blacks and rubbing the tears from her eyes.
She will not see this Tomorrow tomorrow.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl trotting to catch a bus at 5 in the morning,
realizing that even the sunrise is beautiful in this place.
She stepped on the bus and missed the eclipse.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl sprinting into a movie theatre to see a film,
unlike she wanted, with a boy that she desperately did.
She got both, and liked the movie more.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl staring up into the night sky to hear of wishes,
with tears in her eyes as she longed to never grow up.
She was later told she seemed older afterwards.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl looking down and noticing the hop scotch drawn,
while children passed without playing and she longed to.
She was pulled along and told not to look back.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl who happened to be genuinely happy for a long,
long time, while she complained about her surroundings.
She realized while there was only one day left
That she should have taken more pictures.
of a girl walking away from the World of Tomorrow,
dressed in blacks and rubbing the tears from her eyes.
She will not see this Tomorrow tomorrow.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl trotting to catch a bus at 5 in the morning,
realizing that even the sunrise is beautiful in this place.
She stepped on the bus and missed the eclipse.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl sprinting into a movie theatre to see a film,
unlike she wanted, with a boy that she desperately did.
She got both, and liked the movie more.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl staring up into the night sky to hear of wishes,
with tears in her eyes as she longed to never grow up.
She was later told she seemed older afterwards.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl looking down and noticing the hop scotch drawn,
while children passed without playing and she longed to.
She was pulled along and told not to look back.
This is a picture I did not take
of a girl who happened to be genuinely happy for a long,
long time, while she complained about her surroundings.
She realized while there was only one day left
That she should have taken more pictures.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Just like a paper tiger, torn apart by idle hands.
I'm so tired of feeling like this.
I've never been one to act like this.
I'm crying at stupid things that never happened and now won't ever happen.
I don't even have anything to worry about.
I'm somehow in this weird limbo.
My life is wonderful.
My life sucks.
Every line so far started with I, I'm or my. I'm the most self centered person in the world.
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, SUZANNE.
Fucking learn that before you push everyone away.
You're already doing a good job.
I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs
with the baby, the dog and the garden of herbs
I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes
pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues
I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
to be trotting along at the genius' heels
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by.
I've never been one to act like this.
I'm crying at stupid things that never happened and now won't ever happen.
I don't even have anything to worry about.
I'm somehow in this weird limbo.
My life is wonderful.
My life sucks.
Every line so far started with I, I'm or my. I'm the most self centered person in the world.
NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, SUZANNE.
Fucking learn that before you push everyone away.
You're already doing a good job.
I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs
with the baby, the dog and the garden of herbs
I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes
pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues
I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
to be trotting along at the genius' heels
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
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